Choosing The Right Lawyer

The most important thing in your divorce is the choice of your lawyer. In the State of New Jersey there are approximately 65,000 lawyers and that number is growing annually. Unlike the medical profession where doctors limit their practices i.e. dermatologists, cardiologists, plastic surgery, etc., a license to practice law in the State of New Jersey allows a lawyer to practice in every field of law, however, matrimonial law is one of the most emotional areas of law today. It is imperative that you retain an attorney who practices divorce and has done a sufficient number of divorces in the past. You do not want a lawyer 'cutting his teeth' on your case no matter how nice a person he or she may be or how small fee they may charge you. You need a lawyer who understands divorce, alimony, child support, equitable distribution and is able to determine what reason is reasonable in your particular case. The next most important thing is that you have confidence in your lawyer. Any person going through a divorce is an emotional cripple. It is very difficult to make rational decisions in divorce proceedings. You should retain a lawyer whose advice you will follow. Although the ultimate decision rests with you, you should rely heavily on your lawyer's advice. If you are not relying on your lawyer's advice, you are basically throwing money out the window.

However, the second most important thing in a divorce is that your spouse also obtains a lawyer who understands divorce and he/she has enough confidence to follow their advice. Divorce is difficult enough when there are two experienced attorneys involved. It becomes insane when one of the attorneys does not understand divorce or has a client that will not follow his or her advice.

Divorce, unlike any other area of law, is an area that you can win too big in. Gone are the days of financially crippling the other side. The outcome must be reasonable taking into account all aspects. If the outcome is unreasonable, for example the alimony being paid is too high, then there is a disincentive for the paying spouse to work and if the disincentive is great enough then the paying spouse will pack up and leave which will do no good for the receiving spouse. Conversely, if the alimony is too low, there will be a negative effect on the receiving spouse and that will damage the relationship with the children. Therefore, your choice of attorneys is critical.

It is suggested that you seek advice from friends who have used a divorce lawyer. A word of mouth recommendation is vital. When receiving said recommendation, ask why the person gives the recommendation. Also, ask them if that lawyer represented them, who represented their spouse and why they felt their lawyer was better. Glitzy ads and glitzy offices do not indicate that a lawyer is competent.

Have an initial consultation prior to retaining a lawyer. It is suggested that you have more than one consultation so that you can compare one lawyer to another. Be prepared to ask questions in your consultation. Although at an initial consultation no one can predict exactly where the divorce will go, it is imperative that you understand the parameters of what will happen in your divorce.

Realize that the choice of your divorce lawyer is critical for a lengthy period of time. Any divorce agreement must remain in existence until the youngest child has graduated from college. The next six months, although important, are not as critical as the length of time between now and when your youngest child graduates from college.